A very different kind of beat

This is definitely unlike any post I have ever written on here or ever intended to write.

However, something happened last night that has me surprisingly so worked up and doesn't sit right with me and I felt compelled to share.

To many it might seem small, silly even- my sister even found it slightly humourous. I know there are so much worse things that happen, but that doesn't make the smaller things any less important. So here goes:

Last night, my husband and I for a change went to bed quite early. Very long week and all.  I wasn't completely asleep just drifting into sleep, when I heard a massive bang on our apartment door (close to 11pm at this point), and someone yelling "OPEN THE DOOR". Completely frightened and startled, I jumped out of bed and tried to get my husband to wake up as well. He was in such a deep sleep, it took him a moment to figure out what was going on. I  ran to door to see who it was and could barely make it out through my almost useless peephole. I recognized a male person in what appeared to be a uniform. My husband from the bedroom yelled that I not open the door- he of course wanted to be the one to do so and to make sure I was safe.

At this point, I realized that there were 2 people banging and they now identify themselves as the Police and yell that we open the door. One of them yells out- "YEAH YEAH, GO AHEAD HIDE ALL THE STUFF".

My husband at this point has made it to the door and he's looking for his phone- he says we'll open the door, but asked to see their badges and he wanted to call to confirm that they were indeed who they said they were. I'm sorry but too many unfortunate incidents have happened and too many stories of people dressing in uniform who aren't, so we told the cops at the door to give us a minute, we were ringing 911 to confirm that they were who they said they were. 

Of course, they are still yelling and banging- even saying that they would get someone to break door down. I'm now concerned and want to open the door, but my husband says NO, not until confirmed.

It may seem like we had stalled too much but all this couldn't have taken more than 2 minutes. I called 911, confirmed that they had sent cops to my apartment and then we opened the door.

The first thing one of them says to me:"ARE YOU GUYS HIGH ON LSD OR CRACK?"
I responded that I didn't appreciate the comment.

His response was that we were acting paranoid and it could have been handled in 2 seconds. I told him I prefer to be cautious. And then he starts asking me WHERE AM I FROM? where am I from??? I guess REAL NY-ers are never cautious. I don't even know what that question meant.

Ultimately, they had just come to find out if we had any problems with our neighbors as they had received a call. Yeah, kind of silly right?

Let me rewind for a second. I live in a pre-War building with surprisingly horrendous thin walls. I clearly hear every conversation that takes place in the lobby and even some that takes place in peoples apartment. I know that in light of all the noise, banging, yelling and ruckus that just went down, everyone has very well heard everything that had happened and everything that was being said in the hallway.

I am not trying to brag about my PRUDENESS, or claim to be the biggest SAINT on earth but when I tell you I have never done anything criminal, just not in my nature- never touched a drug, don't even drink alcohol- (never have and don't care), never got a ticket, never anything (unless you want to count my CANAL street knockoff sunglasses :-) - it's not to win some Holier than thou Award, it's the plain boring truth. It's not even to say that I deserve special treatment for that, but it is the way I have chosen to live my life and for anyone to come in and unnecessarily stereotype me in my home, basically slander me, talk to me as if I were some sort of criminal. To embarrass me where I live, to imply that I had to hide the stuff away, to ask if we were high on crack- was unnecessary and uncalled for.

I have worked really hard to always treat people how I want to be treated and I was polite, explained why we delayed opening the door, in fact I called 911 on speaker while standing by door so they could hear what I was doing. They unfortunately couldn't extend me a similar courtesy.

Don't get me wrong, I still think the highest of Police officers inspite of the bad stories you hear eveyrday about them, because I believe for the most part, they work hard, they do an INCREDIBLY tough job, they put their lives in danger and I know whenever there's a problem or fear of danger- I'll be calling them.

But I also think its unfortunate that because in their line of work they come across a lot of not very nice people, they sometimes end up treating everyone poorly.

I've been called Overly Sensitive many times, but I do wear my heart on my sleeve. I look for the best in people, I treat people the best I can and I expect the same in return. Me and my overly simplistic world view of be nice at all times and why can't we all just get along. I don't care if people think it childish- I'll be Kumbaya-ing all day long.

It's a little embarrassing that I care what people think, that I care that the Police officers didnt give us credit for being good people, but assumed and felt the need to Imply otherwise, I feel embarrassed that I want to go tell my neighbors that ... I'm an upstanding person, don't think less of me because you may now think that we are small time drug pushers."

Mostly, I think a little part of the STING  has to do with the fact that there's probably less than 4 black people in my building and I just don't want to be the black people who had cops come over yelling, banging talking about drugs when we haven't done anything to earn such a reputation. I realize how much I value my reputation and how important Character is to me. I know it shouldn't, but its funny how quickly someone can make you feel so little.

ALL in all, I'm learning lessons and growing. I know I have lived in many ways a sheltered life. I am not and I repeat NOT in any way calling this the BIGGEST DEAL EVER, I don't feel ABUSED, or VICTIMIZED or anything.

I'm just saying Tiny, small or Big--- WRONG is WRONG.
And it sucks.



UPDATE: All your comments have made me feel so much better and validated how I felt.  All's well on my end- they are now out of my mind, don't want them raining on my parade. I will however keep you guys updated as to any final decisions I make on how to proceed. But for now, I'm good, blessed and grateful for you guys.

note: forgive the typos, but I just typed and don't really care if this post is typo-ridden. I'll probably take this down soon anyways.